We’ve all heard about high stressors in life, and relocating is one of the big ones. If your relocation includes starting another job, it can create even greater stress. You’re on a learning curve for the work itself, under the scrutiny of coworkers and bosses, and typically slow in obtaining your work computer, Blackberry, intranet access…that list can go on and on.
While you were planning the move, did you have to sell your house or ease out of your Lease Agreement? Are you purchasing a new home? Renting or buying, you still have to find that next adorable place to live. Searching for a new home starts out as fun, right? Then it tanks.
And finally, none of us can get around this, moving means you separate from your community and join a whole new one. You’re the proverbial new kid in school. I hope you’re pretty, smart, or really good at sports.
Stressed just reading this? I’m not surprised. Someone relocating gets this trifecta all at once: job change, house change, community change. Yeah, it’s a mind-blower.
So what do you do after the move? One study (found at http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/a0024949) says within all this change, we look for what’s familiar, like national chain stores. Remember when you thought that shopping plaza was an eyesore? For people in the grips of relo, those eyesores present welcoming invites. Ah, there is a Ruby Tuesday near our new neighborhood, thank goodness. Whether we took ourselves to that restaurant that many times before doesn’t matter. Go now. It’s a stress reducer to see its familiar facade. That’s why national chains profit better in locations where people are transient and tend to relocate. Read the abstract, link above.
Meanwhile, purge purge purge and feel cathartic. Purge during the pack out; purge when you open those boxes again. Donate (thrift shops, hospitals, women’s centers, houses of worship) and toss (dumpster, dump, your trashcans, neighbor that you loathe’s trashcan). Downsizing actually feels good, and it reduces stress. We can’t deny it (probably): we have too much stuff. So get rid of what you haven’t used or worn in two years. Yep, toss it out.
Another good thing to be aware of is maintaining your usual regimen. Walk away from those boxes to keep up with your routine yoga, exercise, and afternoon tea (beer or wine?). Take breaks. They are immensely restorative.
Take walks around your neighborhood. Smile. Get out of the house. Remind yourself of this: everyone who moves goes through what you’re going through. The process won’t destroy us. And newness is exciting.
Remake yourself if you want. Call your friends and family. I have a friend I call just to ask her if I’m still okay. Another friend and I often connect to remind one or the other that we are still pretty. Then we laugh. The stress lines eventually smooth out.
Carla
I recently moved too. I’m not sure how you maintain your humor about it, because my experience has been it’s a royal PITA.
Inquiring minds want to know more about the fun you’re having in your new place.
Carla
cathybdouglas
I’d like to say I drink for fun, but I’m not much in alcohol consumption. Believe me, I’ve tried. And tried again to make sure… Anyhoo, fun is in exploration. I like to know what’s around me, so I drive around the area, but you can bicycle somewhere, too. Or walk your neighborhood streets. You may discover a cozy corner pub with live local music on Friday nights or a tiny museum on German painters or a cool new wave foo-foo shop of Tarot cards or a bakery or comic store whose owner went to your brother’s college roommate’s son’s wedding last month (totally made up).
Also, I write for enjoyment. Oh yes, and visit Paris.
jerrilyn swersky
You are correct exploration is fun. Much can be gleaned by striking out on our own in a new and unfamiliar world. When Amber attended college in NYC I used to take the train from Newport News, Virginia to Union Station in NYC to spend a few days with her. I would take a city map and explore new neighborhoods while she was in class. My most delicious discoveries were bookstores where I would spend countless hours exploring books.
When I moved back to Vermont a favorite outing would involve a map, my car, and me. Learning about the state I grew up in by exploring the nooks and crannies I had not had the opportunity to explore as a younger person.
I look forward to your tales of exploration in Germany , Paris, and other European destinations.
Writing is fun although sometimes the things I write about are not.
Oh, yes, sometimes I do drink for fun! Ha
Ellen Abbey
Hey, am I the friend that reassures you that you are still pretty? Or do you have more than one friend who does that. I say the more the merrier! You can never have too many people telling you that you are pretty, or smart, or cool, or the best thing since sliced bread…..We all need THAT (some of us need it more than others). Anyway, I love the fact that you are so positive, and pass that on to others. The world needs more positive, pretty people like you! ( And ME. Self validation is a good thing.)
cathybdouglas
@Ellen, You are most certainly the pretty friend (I should know – it takes one to know one). And you’re a big brainiac. Also, very funny. Hilarious even. Contact me if you ever forget one fraction of these things.
jerrilyn swersky
Cathy & Ellen
You are both very pretty , witty, & positive!!
It is with great pleasure I pass this on to you both.
cathybdouglas
Like I said, it takes one to know one! And thanks for the comps!
Anonymous
I am regular visitor, how are you everybody? This paragraph posted at this website is
really nice.